So Andy Rooney hates gambling and has no fun in Las Vegas. Not fair, because his money’s always welcome here.
“60 Minutes” viewers who tuned in Sunday night were treated to another exhausting diatribe from the 91-year-old commentator, who this time argued in favor of shutting down the gaming industry.
“How come the government doesn’t protect citizens from losing their money by making gambling in casinos illegal?” he asked, while applauding reports that gaming revenue is on the decline.
“There’s only so much money in the world and if it’s lost at a gambling table, it’s money that isn’t spent on things America makes,” he continued. “I mean who’s best for this country — a machinist at an automobile plant in Detroit or a blackjack dealer in Las Vegas?”
At this point, Mayor Oscar Goodman was likely clenching his fists so hard he may have injured himself.
Make gambling illegal? Somebody cut this man’s microphone!
Perhaps he’d like to help a few hundred-thousand casino workers find new jobs in Detroit, after the city solves its own unemployment crisis, of course.
Gambling produces nothing? Last time I looked it produced this beautiful city in the desert. It also produced a few winners along the way, although Rooney, who said he’s always lost, wasn’t one of them.
Upon hearing that, one can automatically assume he has a bias and a bone to pick with the city.
But the outrage is just our gut reaction. In reality this case doesn’t call for finger-wagging. Instead we should be thanking Andy Rooney.
He’s just given Las Vegas a great endorsement, the kind you can’t buy with billboards promoting pool parties at the Hard Rock. First of all, it’s a safe bet the swimsuit crowd has never heard of Rooney, so no loss there.
As for the rest of the audience, Rooney’s ramblings may actually inspire them to roll the dice in our fair city.
Why? Well, first of all, no one likes to be called a loser or a sucker, two words he used to describe his viewers.
Secondly, everyone knows that when a grown-up tells you something’s bad for you, it makes you want to do it more and more. Frankly, at 91, who’s more grown-up than Andy Rooney?
Rooney’s audience may have just been reminded of what happens when the fun stops, if I can borrow a line from those gambling addiction pamphlets.
Life is short, and if given the choice between watching a roulette wheel spin or listening to a lecture about the problems with manual transmission, I’ll bet most people would reach for the remote.
At least there’s a chance the roulette wheel can give you a return on your investment.